Do you consider yourself shy or introverted?

Do you get insanely nervous when speaking to prospective clients?

Do you hate “mingling” at live events?

Then for you, this could be the most valuable training on this site.

Most of my clients can be traced back to a drink at a hotel bar after a conference. (I cover how I get clients at live events here)

It’s how I got a senior copywriting job with Ramit Sethi, a financial package with Agora, and an apprenticeship with Parris Lampropoulos.

Every conversation you botch (or miss) could mean lost dollars — no pressure, right?

I sat down with Till Gross, founder of Comfort Zone Crushers, a global movement to ease fear and anxiety.

Here’s what we talk about:

• [4:35] How to tell if you need work on “social skills” or if something else is holding you back
• [5:31] The science behind why you’re witty and fun with your friends, but freeze in large groups
• [7:37] The secret to live event prep that’s hiding in your next burrito
• [10:07] Why — despite what everyone else tells you — you should never try to “think positive”
• [11:30] 2 Mind-control secrets you can use on yourself
• [14:09] The truth finally comes out! What happens to me when I walk into a conference
• [16:22] Till’s turn: his event horror story
• [18:20] Why the after-party is scarier than the conference (any why you should go anyway)
• [18:56] The ONE approach that can have the most negative, far-reaching, long-lasting consequences (you’ve probably done this at least once)
• [20:02] Two competing biological systems — and which one you need to deactivate as quickly as possible
• [21:40] Hotel-room exercises to put you in the right headspace to talk to anyone
• [23:35] One question to ask yourself before you test out any social skills tricks from the internet
• [25:55] I blush while I reveal the moment that ruined a date and made me rethink my entire career path
• [29:15] The conversational “point of no return” and how you can avoid it
• [31:10] A “gym for your mind” you can construct before your next event
• [33:01] How to turn fear into a familiar friend (he annoys you sometimes, but you still invite him over)
• [33:57] Sue your therapist if they don’t tell you to do this one thing
• [36:44] An “excuse in disguise” that we tell ourselves to avoid improvement (and how to silence it for good)
• [40:55] Terrible (but funny) advice Till tested with disastrous results
• [41:50] How to join in a group conversation without being weird or awkward

Till’s TEDx talk on how to become more confident